Compassion & non-violent communication WITH YOURSELF…

Wow, that’s so easy to say and yet often so hard. If you are like me, by “nature” quite hard on myself, having high expectations, you may know this: It is often easier to be loving and understanding with others than with yourself. Of course, we also have some DISTANCE to others, which we often lack with ourselves.  

And in addition: shadow work and possibly spiritual competition: “WHY AM I STILL NOT AS FAR AS I’D LIKE? I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON MYSELF FOR SO LONG AND STILL I HAVE SO MUCH TO WORK ON!“.

Yeah, I’ve got myself a big topic today. In the last few weeks, it has been something that came a cross quite often, also it’s something that’s been on my mind for a long time. I do not claim to clarify it in this one email 😉 

I often feel like this: “now I’ve already done so much and still there is so much to work on” that frustrates me and makes me sad. Maybe you know this from yourself. And then I see these perfect people on social media and around me and everyone is seemingly so calm, everything flows and they seem to have overcome everything… 

This is not so with the vast majority of people. We are humans and we are imperfect , that also makes us lovable. Perfect would be somehow boring, wouldn’t it. So what can I do to counteract these feelings, which creep up on me and maybe even on you from time to time?

Look into the real world, find people who support you even when you are having a hard time. Who don’t say “you’re not ready yet” or “you’re not suffering enough otherwise you would start changing“, find people who have compassion and empathy.

You are ok the way you are and you have already achieved so much. You can write that down, I do that from time to time. And then I look, look at my successes. They all came from small steps. Like practicing singing or playing instruments or speaking in front of people. Everything gets better in small steps. Almost unnoticed and yet it goes on and when we look back, we see it.

And now to the SHADOW WORK and the subject of SPIRITUAL COMPETITION. I think from what I have written so far, it is clear that this makes little sense or is even help in developing as a human. Nevertheless we know it, I know it from myself. I have learned: I prefer to think in terms of the horizontal and less in the vertical.

I cry when I need to. My system needs to let go of something and watch silly cat videos or whatever makes me laugh as much as possible because laughter is so healthy. I subscribe to extra YouTube, Instagram or Facebook channels for that. That way I always have them at my fingertips when I need a little levity in my heart.

Nonviolent communication with myself. It’s a life’s work. And the bigger the luggage we have, the more important this task is for us. And often the more exhausting. This is where shadow work comes into play. It is strenuous but it leads us into ease. So often I experience that when I have gone through a deep valley, the easier it is to go into joy and ease afterwards. The better I can look at my own shadows, the more I can have compassion with myself. So compassion seems to be the candy I get when I look at the difficult things about myself and work through them. Feeling the feelings and working through them.

Gutsle* to all! 🙂

Widening the heart for yourself and thus becoming a gift for everyone else. To see spirituality, togetherness and community as a big ROUND TABLE instead of a ladder. I don’t have to climb up the ladder and leave others behind, I can simply go into the vastness and see where I find inspiration, help and togetherness, where I may walk with others, where I may be weak AND strong at the same time. Where I can learn from younger ones. Everyone who is in contact with CHILDREN, knows how wise they can often be and how much we can learn from them.

In order to get from a desperate situation of the soul to an easier one, I have listed a few things that help me, maybe you would like to send me what helps you? I always find new things and then share it with others. ROUND TABLE  etc <3 :

EXAMPLES of lightness in the heart

Smelling fresh air
Admiring sun rays
Petting a kitten
Painting a picture or making a graphics
Taking beautiful photos
Dancing with your headphones on loud
Enjoying a shower
Holding a loving hand
Enjoying the silence
Making a new playlist (do you already have one for dancing or crying or being sentimental?)
Getting dressed up
Watching funny videos
SING karaoke
Play with ‚iReal Pro‘ or ‚Smule‘ (I wouldn’t be a singing teacher if something like that didn’t come up 🙂 these are apps that are fun and worthwhile)
Practice ukulele or piano, something easy
Call a good friend
Do something good for someone else
Repeat “light heart” as a mantra (a tip from Muneeza)
Pray or meditate
Take a nap
Go for a run or walk
Tend my plants or grow seeds
Watch Star Trek (movies, series that give you personally good, liberating or awakening emotions, depending on the situation)
Cook something delicious
Cleaning and tidying up
inviting others to dinner and so much more!

I am curious what you do! Can’t have enough of ideas like this. It’s also good to have everything written somewhere, then you can look it up when times are hard.

Best wishes and stay tuned, be kind to yourself and think of your vastness, your horizon.

Directly from the heart,